my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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