She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize