remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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