Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
