I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
