Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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