apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
