WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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