Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
