there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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