just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
