my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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