the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
