His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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