Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
