I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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