Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
