I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
