im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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