New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
