You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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