normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
