shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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