would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
