so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
