"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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