we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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