he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
