We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
