im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
