the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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