You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
