Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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