Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
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He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize