I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You were trust falling into bushes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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