Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
