what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
