everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Congratulations! We have a period
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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