The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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