btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
