I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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