Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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