I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS