Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

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  (646): I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me http://tfl.nu/nl48
  Replies (20) Good night (4598) Bad night (873)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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  (780): Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top? http://tfl.nu/gcls
  Replies (47) Good night (1338) Bad night (6839)
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  (530): View more from California

  is this the sara with the beer cane?

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  (530): is this the sara with the beer cane? http://tfl.nu/bsnc
  Replies (12) Good night (3204) Bad night (877)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (4702)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.

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  (205): She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends. http://tfl.nu/ogdq
  Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (2440)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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  (256): The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving... http://tfl.nu/0z2j
  Replies (17) Good night (1584) Bad night (1628)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina

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  (313): First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina http://tfl.nu/jm59
  Replies (10) Good night (3248) Bad night (1050)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.

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  (304): I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird. http://tfl.nu/9ztz
  Replies (9) Good night (791) Bad night (2088)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.

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  (302): She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment. http://tfl.nu/lapr
  Replies (17) Good night (525) Bad night (3085)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

  (347): View more from New York

  I can't even drink.

  (646): View more from New York

  The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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  (646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1859) Bad night (529)
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  (949): View more from California

  I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea

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  (949): I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea http://tfl.nu/q7zc
  Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (1142)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented

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  (512): We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented http://tfl.nu/cc07
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.

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  (585): Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire. http://tfl.nu/1iqw
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (285)
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  (805): View more from California

  Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake

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  (805): Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake http://tfl.nu/6q42
  Replies (3) Good night (329) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.

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  (815): Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again. http://tfl.nu/i74s
  Replies (3) Good night (172) Bad night (479)

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