Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
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do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."