He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video