can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.