Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.

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  (917): I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever. http://tfl.nu/rwuq
  Replies (38) Good night (7309) Bad night (779)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick

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  (910): I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick http://tfl.nu/ykrr
  Replies (23) Good night (727) Bad night (5764)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.

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  (317): Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube. http://tfl.nu/etlx
  Replies (16) Good night (5386) Bad night (1444)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.

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  (520): Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day. http://tfl.nu/urgx
  Replies (6) Good night (4936) Bad night (1021)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

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  (506): I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/nsuy
  Replies (6) Good night (1039) Bad night (2432)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

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  (859): Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic http://tfl.nu/ciqa
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (2125)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor

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  (580): There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/zpbq
  Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (1374)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob

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  (602): She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob http://tfl.nu/kuny
  Replies (9) Good night (1975) Bad night (689)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is

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  (703): I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is http://tfl.nu/znts
  Replies (1) Good night (1478) Bad night (652)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container

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  (850): My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container http://tfl.nu/jd1a
  Replies (10) Good night (741) Bad night (446)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.

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  (440): my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness. http://tfl.nu/lky4
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (393)
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  (530): View more from California

  He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

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  (530): He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday http://tfl.nu/dy0x
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (264)
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  (909): View more from California

  My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.

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  (909): My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone. http://tfl.nu/ydth
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.

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  (715): I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me. http://tfl.nu/kgj7
  Replies (4) Good night (250) Bad night (617)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat

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  (860): They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat http://tfl.nu/awxr
  Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (151)

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