So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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