So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize