Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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