I think my vagina is haunted
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You are the jesus of drinking
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
