i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
