I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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