Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
