Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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