I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
