I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
