But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Semen is not good for contacts.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.