Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
