It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.