Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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My ATM looks so different sober.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
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You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.