I showed him my bush... on skype.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
where are you?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home