I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.