i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
