can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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