My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
