just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
