"it" just moved
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
