hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
