I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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