i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
