I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
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Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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