jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
